(Trigger warning: Discussion of rape and victim-blaming attitudes)
I’ve been following the Steubenville case for a while, and the recent surge in media attention it’s gotten in the wake of its trial’s end has left me tired and angry.
For those unaware, the basic story is this: Last year, in Steubenville, Ohio, during a party after Big Red football game, Trent Mays, 17, and Ma’lik Richmond, 16 assaulted and raped a 16-year old girl, who is anonymously referred to as Jane Doe. At least three other students witnessed the assault, and photographs and videos were spread onto social media websites, where they soon became viral. On Sunday a verdict was reached: Trent Mays and Ma’lik Richmond were found guilty receiving a minimum one year sentence in a juvenile detention facility.
If you’ve been following it, you’re most likely well aware of the awful, victim-blaming response Jane Doe has received from popular media outlets and the general public (intense trigger warning for victim blaming attitudes in the latest link especially).
What makes me especially angry isn’t how reporters like Candy Crowley and Poppy Harlow from CNN empathized with the rapists by describing them as ‘star football players’ whose ‘lives fell apart’ after the guilty verdict. It isn’t the fact that so many reports merely describe Jane Doe as ‘drunken’ or ‘intoxicated,’ shifting the blame of the assault onto Jane Doe while conveniently leaving out the fact that her rapists were also drinking.
No, what truly annoys me is how ABC introduced the story as, “…every parent’s nightmare and a cautionary tale for teenagers living in today’s digital world.”
As if to say that the real problem wasn’t that Trent Mays and Ma’lik Richmond raped someone; the problem is that they put evidence of the rape online, and allowed themselves to get caught.
What these reports have failed to do, what our culture has failed to do is to illustrate the moral: Don’t Rape People. It seems like something everyone should know, and yet we have to continue inserting addenda that say yes, it is still rape even if she was flirting with you beforehand; yes, it is still rape even if she’s not struggling; yes, it’s still rape even if she’s drunk; yes, it’s still rape even if she’s dressed provocatively; yes, no matter the circumstances, if the person cannot give on-going consent, then it is rape.
Because at the moment, if a person like Jane Doe, a person who was at a party, who was drinking, who might have been flirting, is raped, the focus is not on how despicable the rapist is, but on whether or not the rape survivor ‘deserved it.’ We live in a culture where being a rape survivor is seen as more shameful than being a rapist.
These news stories don’t have to tell women to ‘not get drunk’ to ‘not go to parties’ to ‘be careful, stay safe, stay vigilant,’ because anyone who’s been raised as a woman has heard this since they hit puberty or earlier. You know who does need to be educated about rape and sexual violence?
Guys like Evan Westlake, one of the witnesses who, when asked why he didn’t try to stop the rape, responded: “It wasn’t violent. I didn’t know exactly what rape was. I thought it was forcing yourself on someone.”
Here are the facts: In the US where the Steubenville case took place, nearly 1 in 5 women and 1 in 71 men have experienced rape. (source)
In Australia, 1 in 5 women and 1 in 20 men have experienced sexual violence since the age of 15 (source)
Clearly, our current model of teaching women ‘don’t get raped,’ so let’s try teaching people, men, to not rape. We’ve already seen evidence that such educational campaigns have done positive work in places like Edmonton, so let’s try bringing this education everywhere.
Let’s teach people about what it really means to get consent- that it is not the absence of ‘no,’ but the presence of ‘yes.’
Let’s teach people there is no shame in being a survivor of sexual violence, but that anyone who inflicts sexual violence is a rapist and an abuser, and deserves every ounce of shame that comes with those titles.
Let’s teach people that rape and sexual violence don’t just happen in dark alleys at nights haunted by psychopaths, but that it’s inflicted by husbands and friends and ‘promising football stars.’
And finally, if you want to show your support for Jane Doe, her family has redirected all donations and funds sent in to the Madden House and Family Violence Project. You can also donate to the Madden House here, and leave a note saying that your donation is in the name of Jane Doe, Steubenville.
Additionally, if you’re able to, I encourage you to try to support sexual assault centres in your area, by donating, volunteering, or at least letting others know that these local resources exist. This, for example, is the NSW Rape Crisis Centre, and this is a list of sexual assault services throughout Australia. If these negative media portrayals and public backlash have taught us anything, it’s that we need to be better about supporting rape survivors.This is one way we can do so.
TRIGGER WARNING: Discussion of rape culture and rape apologism in commentary, very explicit recounting of personal sexual violence in the video, and similar recounts in the links
No matter your opinion on Obama’s foreign policy or Romney’s economic plan, now that the presidential election has come to an end, one thing I would hope anyone reading this blog would be happy about is that rape-apologists Joe Walsh, Richard Mourdock and Todd Aiken have been voted out of their House of Representative and Senate seats.
I would like to believe this means that our year of “legitimate rape,” “honest rape,” “forcible rape” and basically any “[descriptive qualifier] rape” is finally over, but let’s get real: rape culture and victim-blaming have existed for a long time, and these are not the only awful public statements politicians and public figures have made about rape.
I know it’s disheartening. I know that it’s really easy to feel burnt out, particularly when we hear the same rape-apologist bullshit again and again and again.
Here is the good news.
More and more people are breaking the silence around sexual violence.
Angel Haze is one survivor who has made her story heard in this amazing, brutally honest new track. In it, she relates her story of sexual violence and abuse, how the indifference of others aided her abusers, and how, over time, she has emerged triumphant from her fear and shame.
Stories like hers are important, and the fact that people can share them, and that we are listening shows that while we still have a long way to go, we are creating change.
For a better, more in-depth article about Angel Haze and how rap can help end rape culture, I definitely recommend this article in The Atlantic.
(trigger warning: brief discussion of rape and victim-blaming)
Last week, David Mitchell beat and raped a 73 year old women. Nine days earlier, she had seen him masturbating in the bushes, and took a picture of him. Moments before the later assault, he asked her, “do you remember me?”
Since then, the incident has sparked discussion around whether or not she “provoked” the attack by taking his picture (spoiler alert: that’s garbage), and the new trend in reporting street harassment through social media.
To get the first question out of the way: No. There is absolutely nothing you can do that would warrant you somehow “deserving” or “provoking” an act of sexual violence upon yourself. Furthermore, in instances like this, harassers do not need and excuse to be “provoked.” If you respond, they may get violent. If you ignore them, they may get violent. Either way, it is never the victim’s fault. There’ll be more posts on victim-blaming and how harmful it is in the future, but for now, we’ll just leave it at that.
As for the second question, we live in a world where sexual assault and sexual harassment is one of the most under-reported crimes. In a 2003 survey, it was reported that 28% of women have experienced sexual harassment in the workplace; less than a 1/3 placed a formal complaint. In a workplace, there is at least some system in place for you to make a complaint, no matter how flawed said system may be. It’s much harder to report street harassment.
The nature of street harassment is that you cannot always retaliate. Sometimes you don’t feel safe doing so, sometimes they’re gone before you can respond, sometimes you can’t even think of how to respond. That’s okay. The act of sharing photos, videos and stories of these incidents occurring lets people know that they are not alone. It lets people know that street harassment happens, and it is not okay. It lets harassers out there know that we can see them, and we will not tolerate them any longer.